Teen Vogue is on it! They just launched their “Ask a Sex Educator” weekly series with renowned sex educator Lena Solow. She will be answering questions about “the tough stuff — sexuality, gender, bodies, STDs, pregnancy, consent, pleasure, and more.”
Below is her first Q&A:
My partner wants me to send him nude photos, but I’m kind of nervous and don’t feel comfortable. I told him I didn’t really want to, but he won’t drop it. He says I can trust him and that I will feel good about myself because I’m beautiful. Is it okay to send nude photos if someone promises not to share them?
Ugh back off, boyfy. It’s NOT OK for your boyfriend to pressure or push you into doing something you don’t want to do. It’s EXTRA not OK for him to act as if this is a trust issue. That’s manipulative — he’s making you feel like you are the problem, when the problem is him not respecting your boundaries! And what’s more, he’s hiding the pressure with a compliment (telling you you’re beautiful), which probably makes it feel more confusing. But let me be very clear — compliments are no longer nice when they are being used to pressure or confuse you, ESPECIALLY when you’ve already said you don’t want to.
Now, let’s talk about nudes for a minute. Taking and sending naked pics is a sexual activity, and just like with any sexual activity you want to first check in with yourself. If you’re not excited about doing this — forget it! And if you’re being pressured to do it — forget it, and maybe forget the jerk who’s pressuring you. If you do a little self check-in and you ARE feeling totally into it, there are a few things to think about.
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