XOJane: IT HAPPENED TO ME. I Was Assaulted By My Tinder Date

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Fresh out of an almost three-year-long relationship, I found myself a little tipsy, sitting on my living room floor at 2 a.m. on a Saturday.

My roommate and I had just arrived home from one of our customary hazy nights out when she exclaimed, “Hey! Ya know what? You should totally download Tinder!”

My last relationship had been with a pretty serious live-in boyfriend, so I was a little skeptical about jumping into the online dating world, which I had no previous experience in.

My roommate was persistent though, convincing me I could find my future ex-boyfriend with only a swipe of my index finger.

Seeing as how we have the same taste in men (we could never resist a dark, band-boy type) I figured I’d give it a shot. I reasoned with myself: What’s the worst that could happen?

After about a month of having it on my phone, I had to hand it to her — Tinder was pretty fun. It’s like being able to go out the bars and scope out all the hot guys in the crowd without actually having to get dressed up or leave the comfort of your couch.

Slowly but surely I got used to the weird, 21st-century phenomenon of trying to connect with a complete stranger, and when I came across Jim’s* profile, I got really excited.

For one thing, he messaged me first (which anyone savvy in the world of Tinder will tell you is a pretty big deal) and his message didn’t include a pun or creepy sexual innuendo.

Scrolling through his pictures, I thought: This is someone I can definitely see myself hanging out with.

He had long hair, a kind smile, and an overall skater boy look. Within a couple of days, he had asked for my number and we made plans to meet up.

The plan was for him to come over the next Friday afternoon, have some beers and go swimming at my house.

Jim was not my first Tinder date and I had a pretty standard formula for meeting up with these guys by then.

They’d come over to my place for a casual activity that showed I didn’t want to “Netflix and chill,” but also wasn’t up for a super-formal date.

This way I could always ensure my roommate was home in case they ended up being way different in person and I needed an emergency escape strategy. I really felt like I was in control.

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